Back!

I felt as if I have been sent miles away from my beloved. Oh gosh, How i missed my internet connection for last 36 hours!

My net had somehow stopped working since yesterday, and though I didnt have all that much work through net, I still missed my daily routine. Yesterday, After eons, I paid visit to a Cyber cafe. and trust me, It felt really frustrating to sit in those crampy seats struggling with the damaged keyboard and hanging systems.

It was only a few hours earlier that I found out that My net connection was barrd due to non-payment of a bill, that cost me more than my monthly expenses! I knew I went a li'l overboard this month, but this much ?? :O

To my company were some really soulful songs. Some romantic, while some ruthlessly true-to-life. I had a jolly good time getting Nostalgic after a long long time, but that also made me miss one of my closest friends at school. Aah, never mind. :)

Anyways, Life is back to its common route now. I cant dare to write how i spent my last 2 days and one night, as that would remind me of how frivolously careless I am becoming with each passing day. Sorry... :(

However, I did some more of a long-impending work. Hope to finish it by the scheduled date I've fixed. Rest is all fine.

Me going back to my books now. Even they must have missed me, though honestly I didnt! :D

Cheers!

Bas itna sa Khwab Hai...

Just a quick update on A thought that struck me a while ago when I was having my dinner with my room-mates.

Offlate, I have acquired this habit of putting the music on while having my meals, esp. in the night. This night too, I was quietly having my dinner as Tarun, the more restless and bragging of my two room-mates began talking about another of his endless future Business schemes. This time, it was about the launch of a brand in the market of Laundry chain, or if possible a chain of service for house-keeping and stuff. God knows where does he get such ideas from. And although I was nodding in accord, I was more interesting in my Paranthas.

Just then came to my relief an evergreen song. It was "Mere angne mein" from Laawaris (I hope it doesnt need an introduction. Does it ?? :O)

Now there's something about this song that I just can't resist. Either Its the charismatic aura with which Amitabh actually performed, or just the entire fun He seemed to be having while singing it, I always get carried away and find myself imitating BIG B's baritone.

As my dear roomie Tarun was going on and on about How He would like to be known as a Brand and gain unprecedented goodwill all over the country, I was relishing my recollection of the Video of the song, where BIG B entertains his guests to the hilt.

A very disturbing yet intriguing thought hit me. I was so self-indulged in my own world, that I hardly paid heed to what Tarun was blabbering. Give me a thought about My fav. Movies, and a damn to the rest of the world then. I would like to have my peace of mind by watching BIG B doing a drag, rather than planning out financial reports for some machievellan organisations.

Sometimes i wonder If I am exaggerating about my passion for Movies. There must be millions of them like me, I tend to think time & again. And I know that can also be interpreted as sheer laziness to do better but more pain-staking things in life. But whatever it is, I wil anyday (only god knows if bravely or foolishly) choose to be with Movies rather than Masterminds. Thats all i need. Hope I get a chance to do so, without making my close ones conclude that I am just Good-for-nothing. :)

Amen!

Baat samjha Karo

Sundays are the worst day of the week, I tell you. When you wake up, they whisper naughtily in your ears, "Just chill, yaar. You have got the entire day".
And Just when You have realised You have chilled a bit too much, they scream at you in front of everyone "I told u na, You are a hopeless fellow. Cant even make use of Sunday. Good-for-nothing."
No wonder Its given a cold shoulder and ousted by all the working days from their group. And I dont think I need to say anything more on how my day has been as yet. :(

Sometimes I feel if I will ever realise how grossly I am wasting my time. There is so much to be done, and I dont mean studies only.


During my Nap in the afternoon, I had this collage of dreams ranging from the weirdest of events to close-to-life ones. In one of them, Mummy just caught me dilly-dallying with my studies and I lied to her convincngly enough. I wonder how many times by now I have done in reality.

Offlate, I have realised I have somehow regained that snob quality which I used to have in my school days. Now-a-days whatever I do anything for anyone, I feel i have done a big favour on others and start acting Arrogantly. Dunno whats wrong with me.
Also , after an economic week or so, I am back to my extra-vagant self. In last 3 days, I have spent 10 times as much as i did in 4 days prior to that. :O
Not very good signs, esp. considering There are so much heavy-duty expenditure to be done in the near future.

Anyways, I just had a walk and am feeling much better. Will finally go to study now. Hope not to be distracted by anything or anyone for next 3 hours atleast. :)

Chao!

....

It seems as if Someone has punched it with all the Power He's ever had. The right ear is paining like hell. It seems as I have become half-deaf. I can hardly hear anything from that ear. And that feeling itself makes me restless like anything.
And like everyday, Fate has managed to fetch me one reason for not studying. :((

I am trying my best to divert my mind, But that feeling of an ear being closed makes me so damn uncomfortable. I fail to concentrate on anything.
I wont have any Doctors at this hour of the day to entertain me. And till the Morning, I gotta suffer that feeling come what may. I dont have a choice either. :((

Earlier in the day, I finally summed up all the to go to College and deliver my long impending Presentation. And guess what, Our dear Teacher choose not to come to our class today. Aaj ka hi din mila tha use!

And what the heck! Just a while ago, We got a call from the Tiffin centre, who too refused to provide the meal for tonite.
I certainly had no mood or condition to go out and eat. So in sheer haste and Frustration, I called up Pizza Hut and Ordered for something.
Its only later when I realised it costs me nothing less than Rs. 250. Gawd. :((

After finishing my Pizza, I plan to go back to My studies, and hope that I manage to do that sincerely. Without thinking even once about that Right ear.

Damn!

Char ka Chamatkaar

Someone told me Tags are the best way to distress yourself. So considering the lull I'm going through, I decided to give it a shot. ;)

Four Jobs I've had in my life
1. Calculator
Mummy has been a teacher ever since I could understand. So preparing report cards of her class students has been just another season for her every year.
And by the time I was 12, My calculation skills were well known in my circle. So Mummy decided to take some help to save her energy, as I earned my first salary - by tallying the marks and calculating the Percentage in the Report cards. 50 paise per Report card. :))
And i Must say, It wasn't bad. :D

2. Tutor
Now there were times when Mummy was too tired to handle so many students all at once. So I did tutor some of her junior students. Its no mean job, i must say. :P
And before you jump to any conclusions, I didnt charge for it... :d

3. Ravisa
Thanks to Divs sir, I got to do a job on a professional level before I'd graduated, so what if temporary. What more, They had to do with movies.
Those 3 months - from Jan to March 2008 were the turning point of my life, in every which way. I felt I was worth of doing something atleast. :)

4rth one - not as yet. :D

Four TV Shows I love to Watch
Coffee with Karan - Whats better than watching your fav. stars in one frame, other than the movies ??;)
Anything on MTV. :d
Great Indian Comedy Show (Twas such great fun at once, with Vinay Pathak and Ranvir Shorey marching the gags)
Indian Idol and all the Reality shows, for all the fun they provide - both intentionally and otherwise. :D

Four places I had lived (in chronological order)
In mummy's Womb, I guess.. :O
Vijayanagaram - I lived there till I was 3. So dont expect me to jot down any memory.
Bhatapara - a very very small town near Raipur, the capital of Chattisgarh, where I Spent almost my entire childhood and teenage.
Indore - Have been here for more than 2 years by now, in the affairs of my so-called graduation. Needless to say, Another experience which taught a few many things. :)

4 places I have been on a Holiday
Mumbai
Ooty, Kodaikanal etc.
Chennai
Pendra road

While the first two were the part of my school trips, Chennai came along when I had this family holiday with my parents almost 12 years ago.
While Pendra Road is again a very small town near Amartantak, where My Uncle was posted. I spent all my school holidays from 2000 to 2002 - be it Summer, Winter or Diwali - over there. :P

Four of my favourite Dishes
Luchi - Kaju do Pyaza
Malai Kofta
The standard south-indian breakfast items by Naani. ;)
A regular meal cooked by Mummy - Rice, Dal, and Potato Curry. :D

Four Websites I visit daily
Orkut.com
Google.com
Youtube.com
Wikipedia.org

Four places I'd rather be right now
My Accountancy Coaching classes
The outers of my town, with My best friend discussing life, love etc.
Times of India office
I better be back to my study table now. :P

Cheers!

Kitabein bahut si....

Assignments and Presentations are finally taking its toll on me. Before I can finish one, I am assigned another. And what the heck - I can hardly comprehend a word of what i am preparing.

CAT preparations, below-average scores in the Mock tests I treat myself with everyday, The fear of not having a sound G.K. and how it will affect my stand for admission in nice colleges, the pressure of 4 assignments at a time, and then, the fear of not being fully prepared when I'd speak in front of 50 peers excluding that Devlisih teacher all ready to bombard me with his Cross-Questioning...
My days pass like a comet as I just while away my time, thinking about all of these.

This makes me not attend any calls, and just avoid any sort of conversation with anyone. May be I feel too guilty to even face anyone. Wonder how i manage to keep all this aside when it comes to my online friends. Thanks, all of you... :)

Under sheer pressure and a fear of being embarrased, I plan to bunk my college tomorrow too, despite of being decently prepared for 2 of my assignments. I dunno why am i even letting this anxiety affect me so badly, but ultimately, IT IS!

Chhoti si baat - II

What an irony, that I undeliberately repeat my own words, which I said only 2 days ago.

"Just wonder how sometimes the smallest of things prove to be so damn dangerously capable of changing your mood and state-of-mind altogether."

The only difference is This time, it was towards positive.

I woke up this morning, at 7.45 (quite early from my standards). But I was in no mood to get up and go to College. The Cold was still quite strong, and I didnt wanna make myself heard in the class all day long through my sneezes.
But then, thanks to my roomie Tarun, I heard a number which brought me a bagful of memories in a moment.

"Hoshwalo ko Khabar kya
Bekhudi kya cheez hai
Ishq keeje phir samajhiye
Zindagi kya Cheez hai"

and before I could realise, I was humming it in my half-sleep mode. I suddenly got up from my bed, and felt quite fresh all of a sudden. Good enough to go to College. ;)

Hope my day passes as nicely. Amen. :)

Dream-Girl!

Genelia in my dreams! Yet again! Whats her problem, man ??

Seems I should better learn to change my desktop wallpaper at regular intervals now... ;))
But with a Pic like this, How can anyone really do that yaar ?? :D

By the way, I woke up only now... thanks to my childish stubbornity. Still feeling a bit feverish... Bunked college... but This time, I certainly wont waste the entire day. Fingers crossed...

P.S. - And ya, This is my 2nd post in the day... Hehe :P

Chhoti chhoti si baat

Just wonder how sometimes the smallest of things prove to be so damn dangerously capable of killing your mood, and disturbing your state-of-mind completely.

Last night, For another of my pointless never-ending College assignments, I had woken up till 6 in the morning. Considering my standards, It was no mean feat for me to wake up till sun-rise for anything remotely connected to Studies. So I went to bed, feeling pretty happy about myself.

Only to wake up straight after 11, much later than the time the Lectures actually start. "11 Baj gaye hain. Even if you leave now, You can't make it to the 11.30 class, buddy. Rehne de.", said Rahul sleepily as He twisted in his bed.

Its only now when I realised Rahul too had bunked his college, for some legitimate reasons though (Poor guy's leg was aching badly).

I felt sort of cheated, by fate - yet again! "I work hard (so what if with regular breaks), and I dont even go to College at the end of it. WTF!!!" Feeling frustrated as I did ever, I went back to my bed, for I was still half-sleepy and had just 4.5 hrs of my restless peace as yet.

I finally woke up only at 1, feeling completely devastated. I felt bad about missing College for a change. And somehow, Everything just seemed to be out-of-place ever since.

And if anything was left to happen, I caught up fever big time. Its not very often that I fall sick. And even when I do, Its not anything severe as such. But it seems fate had all its moves planned at the most apt of occasions. I fell asleep at 3.45. Yes i did! (for those of you who believe anything is possible), only to wake up around 6.

I did study a bit my pre-SS ( Sleep sessions.. :P ), and also after that. But seems Sept 23 was unwavering obstinate to be a bad day. So God knows what went into my mind, that I stopped studying after 6.45.

The rest of my day (and that includes 236 minutes of Sept 24) were spent in reading the blogs of a few anonymous souls. Some black, Some white ( both literally and figuratively! ), while Some touched a chord just right! For some bloody reason, I just wanted to devoid of the same 'ole crappy tensions I'd been going through. So what better than to peek into others' thoughts for a change ??

Its only at 4 in the morning that I finally feel a bit relieved, and somehow, even the fever seems to have evaporated thankfully. But its indeed sad that Yet another day of my life vroomed away... JUST LIKE THAT!

Now its not as If It was wasted entirely. I did catch up on my CAT sheets for a while, not to mention the addition of a few more words to be vocab. And what more, got to experience the alien-but-beautiful world of Bloggers some more.

But How I wish it also had some more of What should actually be the Most time-taking thing in my life right now - Studies.

I feel a grenade-sized lump in my throat as my room-mate Rahul puzzles himself even more in those self-complicated Questions from sheets provided by PT Education for his CAT prep. The very thought of sitting in the Competitive exams with the kind of preparation I have right now scares the shit out of me. I hardly have 2-3 months anyways.
"This is damn tough job, buddy... and aise nahi chalega" - the very-current thought in my mind as I type this.

All day long, I just struggled with those looooong mind-numbing RC passages, trying hard to find any sense in them. By the end of it, I seemed to have lost whatever sense of reasoning I ever had.

Here's an excerpt from the thrashing I got a while ago from - MYSELF!

"This all can't be that tough, can it ? Come on yaar! When thousands of other worthless jerks can do it, Why can't you ??
Whats wrong with you anyways ? You were never such a dumb asshole either! Come on yaar, Whatever happened to all those claims for being capable of doing all this.... JUST LIKE THAT. I know You are not this bad, as Your performance till now make you out to be... But Dont expect to carry it off with Farhan Akhtar crooning loud in your ears at the top of his voice. You gotta put in some serious efforts, maan!
Can't you just leave all these so-called worldly pleasures aside for the already-limited time span you dig yourself into those sheets ?? Your life sorta depends on it, damn it! Why don't u get this bloody fact into your brain ??"

Ya right! Why don't I get this ?? What ever could be wrong with me ?? I while my days away, half studying and half-singing along with my I-pod. And before I can realise, its dinner time! Even after my 2nd meal of the day, I choose to come online and waste my time some more.

Okay, I know, One gotta spare time for friends too. After all, You too need them, much more than probably they need you. But for that, You HAVE TO spend the rest of the day with those goddammit boring Questions to deserve to have some fun at the end of the day.
Days pass like a comet, and I just brood about the scary repercussions all this laziness and such a scarily irresponsible stand can have in the coming days (that may just not as well have an end to them)

Whats so impossible about "GIVING YOUR BEST", that I am just not able to do that ?? What does that mean at first place ?? Lemme give a shot....
Ummm.... Doing as much as You can ? To the best of your ability ??
Ya I guess thats what it means.

What is it with GIVING YOUR BEST, that I am just not able to come to it ?? Why do i distract myself on my own, and then regret it later ??

Throughout my life, I did what I wanted to.
The times havent changed now either, but I aint even doing what I should do, that will help me do What i eventually want to.

Okay, I know, and I re-realised just now, that this is going nowhere and I am resorting to write all crap yet again. So I shall sign out now, hoping for the nth occasion that I soon realise how crucial this studies part in this otherwise 'I-can-be-beautiful-too' life REALLY is.

Amen.