Saturday, September 13, 2008

Kismat Konnection!



These two days weren't earth-shattering as such, but made quite a difference never the less. I spent almost the entire Thursday in my College Campus waiting for the lazy officials of my College to go to the main university to bring the mark list and announce the result officially, only to be given some really lame excuses by them and asked to go back home.

Meanwhile, One of my class-mates gave me a ray of hope, saying sometimes the roll no. do appear in haphazard manner, and it isnt necessary that I am not among the pssing students.


The results were put up on notice board only today in the afternoon, and My hope remained a hope only. I HAD a back in a subject. The positive aspect here was - I had only ONE Back. hehe. But honestly, I had become so apprehensive for these two days,thinking about the possibilites of me having an year back. :O

This is when One realises the drawbacks of an excessively restless mind. :P


Now lemme come to the second major event. Veena, one of my close friends at College was going through a bad phase in her relation with Shankar, one of her closest friends, who was just getting a bit too possessive about her. On Thursday evening, I was just about to leave from College when Veena stopped me. When i asked her the purpose, She told me she wanted me to be there as She bids adieu to Shankar.

I was taken aback, as I certainly didnt wanna be a witness to a goodbye-forever meet. I still had to be there, for the fear of not letting her down once again, as She said I had begun doing since a couple of days.

Soon Shankar came, and Veena, as if totally made up her mind to part with him, began with the proceedings. As Veena started reminding Shankar of all the ways He had ever tried to dominate her actions and Shankar began his attempts at apologising, I was invariably reminded of one of the similar phase I went through with one of my closest friends. And before I had realised, I was pretty engrossed in their conversation, may be much more than they themselves were. for once, I didnt mind eavesdropping. ;)


Soon, I realised This time Veena was at the same place where I was a couple of days ago, and My my, She was speaking exactly my language! I was amazed and amused at the way Veena behaved so rudely with Shankar, as if to make him feel he doesnt matter at all. At the same time, i was feeling quite guilty of myself that may be It was all my influence on her. May be after interacting with me, She'd acquired this ability of being as rude as possible.


Shankar left after a while, pissed off with Veena's indifferent conduct with him. Soon, We left too and halted at a near-by Canteen to have something (We hadnt had anything since Morning, twas too long for me atleast! :d).

While I was non-chalantly munching on my noodles, Veena suddenly got up from her laid-back posture and said "You know, today is a important day for me, As I decided to make distance with 3 of the most important people in my life"

Surprised a bit, as I didnt have the clue about the other 2, I queried "Aur kaun ?"

"You and Aditya", pat came the reply.


Now well, I was surprised for sure. But having experienced much more shocking things than this, I almost failed to react. I just managed to ask in my trademark enquiring tone, "And how come ??"


"I have decided I wont be attached to anyone else now. I have seen how much everyone cares for my feelings. First I looked for a friend in Aditya, who chose to give a damn to my sentiments. And after a while, You too have started to take me for granted. And I have decided i dont need to take this shit from anyone anymore. And thats the main reason Why i decided to part from Shankar, as I didnt wanna be a slave to his wished either. And I have made up my mind, I will stay in my limits henceforth. So You needn't worry ab se. I have My Karan (Her boy-friend). I dont need anyone else"


She had a sarcastic smile as she said those final words. And I, as usual these days, was short of words but was quite surprised at the end of it all. I dunno If I felt bad, because I genuinely felt Veena was getting over-attached to me and needed a definite break from me. Because after College, It will only hurt her more when A time may come where We may not be even able to keep in touch as much as now.

I knew I was thinking selfishly there, but the truth is, even I need a break from bondings. They only end up pissing me off now. Infact, now I wonder why Friends get so possesive about you, that they cant even understand when You say you cant afford to spend time with them as before because at times, You HAVE to shift your gears to other priorities too.


And to think there was a time when i so badly wanted to be loved by someone. And when its coming to finally, I cant take it beyond a limit.

I tell you, Fate and its tricky games.



P.S. - Talking of fate, Its a sheer co-incidence isnt it, as this evening I was just checking if Punnu replied to my comment on his blog when I came across Ruchi's blog. And there I found a link to a site for english songs download, which fetched me songs I was looking for since ages.

And here am i, typing all this crap listening to my all-time Fav English tracks and revisiting my school days when I'd frantically search for these songs and put them on repeat mode at the highest volume possible, as Mummy would shout at the top of her voice from the adjoining room, louder than my songs, loud enough to break the Long mirror in my room. lols


Aah.. I guess too much on fate and Nostalgia. But its certainly not the right time. Some time later, may be... ;)


Cheers!

7 comments:

.................. said...

hehe i guess she needs a break from all this....then she might be fine....she is taking a bit too much on her though I cant comment much as dont know fully all the things :D ...
no comments on priorties though,talked enough on it ;)

Starkiss said...

all these attachments seem scary......
don't know why :|

Unknown said...

wel its such a relief to hear dat u dont hv to repeat the entire sem agn.....jst a paper...as the saying goes...watevr happens happens 4 best....atleast now u hv a goal n direction to move...rght
umm....dunno why but it alwyz happens...the one who is closest to u is the one who hurts u the most...may be coz we start to expect a lot...may be its not their but its our fault...may be coz we dont giv tym to think it ovr....seriously dont know the real cause.....but all i know is b4 taking ne step we shld atleast hv a talk wid the person...phir jo hona hai woh toh hona hi hai na
to stay 'konnected' the best thg to do
in statistical terminology
"minimize ur expectations and optimize ur bondings":P

Aashi said...

hey harsh..
u write really long posts yaar...errr okay,lemme put it this way..The person who's posting this comment is extremely lazy n lacks patience. Probably thts d reason i felt its long:P

but its nic;)hehe was sippin my evenin tea all by myself today, n your post gave me company *giggles* i mean good company;) :p
thanks..

@topic
attachments r quite delicate to handle..hmmm n since i m in one such tangled situvation myself..i wont b able to come up wid any suitable advice or view regaurdin ur post..haha..

btw glad u got the songs. kyun limewire ka kya hua? u did'nt find 'em der is it??

.................. said...

in statistical terminology
"minimize ur expectations and optimize ur bondings":P


hmmm a typical Stats Student speaking there :p

Harsh said...

@Punnu

ya right... Nahi to panga ho jaayega faltu ka... once again... :P


@ Suhaila

I bet... :)


@Neha

Ya... agreed there, neha... But minimise expectations is what People fail to do often in such situations.... ;)


@Aashi

No yaar.. I know its one really helluva long post.... for any non-lazy reader also... :p
not ur fault... ;)

Secondly, I know they are delicate...
and thats y i have begun to feel its better to stay unattached than be attached and face all these....

And ya, limewire toh i didnt download... :d
bearshare kiya tha... usmein kuch mile, kuch nahi.... :D

And usmein se downloading was very slow... :((

Never mind... thanks anyways... I got "Bad" by Michael jackson from here only.... :D

Sajal said...

most of the things u mentioned about attachments...connections..are quite right...i will just remind you of one of the comments you made in one of the other posts of urs...something ur collg life taught u..."fights are not permanent,relations are"...bas ye dhyaan rakhna