So finally I am back to where I belong!
Since last 8 days, I am reading books, watching movies galore, eating my fav. goodies whenever i want, fooling around my small rented flat etc etc. In short, basking in the success of what initially seemed like an inevitable Qayamat.
Honestly, I just appeared in CAT, hoping I am not forced to be ashamed later. But I guess this are times when all your friends' best of luck SMSes truly work and God, seeing so many wishes for you, decides to come down and lend his support all by himself.
The whole post-CAT period has been simply unbelievable. After initial uncertainty about my Scores, The signs are roaringly positive. As each day passed, I realised I wasnt so pathetic afterall.
By now, I am pretty sure I havent done bad in CAT. and what the heck, some of the websites even claim I have some very good chances at some of the better colleges in the country after the IIMs. And to think that I hadnt studied for a month before CAT. Gosh!
Mummy still good-humouredly scolds me and tells me that if I did so nicely without studying much, How well I could have done If I'd studied more. But I know this isnt true. I know It my entirely my destiny. I know I had all my luck with me for those 2.5 hours, and that came because for some reason, God was indeed very happy with me. :)
I just hope he is happy with me for the next few months atleast, because this is gonna be a make-or-break period. I will make sure I dont hurt any soul on this planet, that can make him detach from me... hehe :D
Actually, This may not be such a big thing for many as I am making it out to be. 86 %ile. Ask some of those who aim for FMS or XLRI and they will spit on my score. But I am really content, more so considering My pathetic preparation and How well I was (or actually, wasnt!) prepared for this.
At the same time, I have also realised Life can be much more wonderful, provided I get on my toes soon and prepare myself completely for the times ahead. Otherwise, Life is not gonna be easy.
Life has been pretty nice to me in last 10 days. Though I had a few low moments too, for e.g. I had this big issue with a friend over a really silly matter (difference of opinion on a film of all things... lols). Just hope Things dont stay as bitter as they are presently.
Also, I spent almost as much money in last 10 as I do in the entire month. This is really very embarrasing, esp. when I will need a lot of money in the near future... :((
And then there is this nerve-wrecking unpredictability of the results. And I am not able to handle it, really.
However, There's lot more to come. Much more hard work, much more anxiety and hopefully, Lot more Contentment. :)
So after a long self-imposed holiday, I am back to Life! Hope to stay as lively here too. Cheers! ;)
What an irony! I come back to my Blog, but only to mention that I will be off for a few more days.... Uff !!
Before Diwali, I was waiting for Life to show some ray of hope, some light. And after Diwali, I am amazed by the amount of Light I've been brought to see. Lols.
Diwali vacation was an absolute treat. I had no other thought and spent all my time with my family. And somehow, I really enjoyed thinking about this fact that I had all the time only for my Mummy and Naani.
Well, Those who know me well know that My idea of enjoying starts and ends with Movies. So What i Did this Diwali was to show all the good recent films which Mummy and Naani hadn't seen. And that included Rock On, A Wednesday, Mumbai Meri Jaan, Bachna Ae Haseeno and as a bonus feature NO SMOKING! :D :))
And then, all I had to do was trigger off a discussion, counterpointing their opinion. And off we were on a never ending debate, that would be ever-accompanied with loud voices and direct attacks. Where do you guys think I got my stubbornity and argumentative skills from ?? :P
And actually, It wasnt just this. I was really 1enjoying and feeling very relieved, very relaxed. It was such a relief from all the heck I was suffering over here. And when D-Day came of leaving back to Indore, I wasnt interested. I didnt wanna leave. I had an inkling I'd again be surrounded with same tensions and all, which I didnt want to.
No wonder I fell ill the very day I came back. Though I did have slight fever when I was leaving, I had no idea it'd would reach heights. I went on to have viral that lasted around a week. There was a time (unfortunately around my Birthday) that I was so weak that I wasnt even able to walk on my own propoerly. It was really sad to see myself in such a state. But Also good to see myself back in form, to my normal self! :)
CAT is just 3 days away, and I practically studied nothing. Its entirely a hopeless case now, but I dont wanna come out of that Hall totally down, depressed discouraged etc. So Here's giving a final shot at what is gonna be the ULTIMATE DAY in the lives of so many Indians.
There's something that gives me a feeling all's not gonna be that bad. Dunno, but kuch positive vibes aa rahi hain. :) And I hope it comes out true.... ;)
So I will give a final try, and my best. For these 3 days atleast. So will be off till the 16th of Nov. And When i come back, I hope You get to read a positive note.... ;)
Have so much to write, and time is so less. Hope to make up for all this when i come back. Chao....
So finally I am on my way to home. Honestly, I have never been so-damn excited for a vacation. But I guess this time, these holidays for me decided to take themselves a bit too literally.
I just need a goddamit break. Break from everything that has got me all scared and tense since last 10 days. A break from my frustration routine of how I while away my days so-not-constructively. a break from days like the last 3 ones when I am feeling ill and dont even wanna be better. In short, A break from this whole disapproving ambience.
Same bloody calls. Same bloody Questions. Same bloody desire to tear your hair apart in sheer frustration. Why is it so tough for some to understand that Friends should be let themselves for once. Ahh leave it!
I just need a break from all these. I wonder if its really that tough for the one up there, or he's just plain adamant to punish me at once for all the wrong deeds I have ever done in my life.
Diwali is the festival of lights. Somehow, I have an inkling this Diwali will certainly lighten up my life, as its actually supposed to. And mind you, I am not talking about those noisy fire-crackers!
Yesternite, I had this great G.D. session with my room-mates over the famous battle of Money and Principles. In short, all of us got to thrash each other openly in good humtour (with a tinge of sarcasm though) and I must say, I had a Bash. Somehow, My fever also cooled down by the time I went to bed. Thank u, Rahul and Tarun. I must say You could have opted for Medical too. :P
Life has not changed much since the last time I visited this page. I felt so many times in these 5 days like just writing whatever i want to. But the Super-Tornado struck me at the right time, And It made me come to a state where I just wanted to be free of any thoughts, let alone try to jot down my thoughts on this alter-ego url address, namely split-persona.blogspot.com.
CAT is coming nearer and nearer, and I hardly seem interested in studying. Though i never aimed for it either, But I guess it'd have been much more pleasant if I was decently prepared till Nov 16 too. Lets hope I encounter the desired status on Dec 21 atleast.
However, FILMI FREAK has sincerely helped me remain attached to my crazy Movie thoughts. Every day, I read some zany comments and meet some outrageous people with as-different-as-i-can-get-from-u views. And it only strengthens my belief that Different People have Different Perceptions. I guess I just as well may end up updating my other blog too. Do check it out my later tonite.
I guess I have blabbered enough for now. By the way, This was the first time I wrote a post on an impromptu basis, and didnt i Enjoy it ?? :D
Chao!
Just a quick update on A thought that struck me a while ago when I was having my dinner with my room-mates.
Offlate, I have acquired this habit of putting the music on while having my meals, esp. in the night. This night too, I was quietly having my dinner as Tarun, the more restless and bragging of my two room-mates began talking about another of his endless future Business schemes. This time, it was about the launch of a brand in the market of Laundry chain, or if possible a chain of service for house-keeping and stuff. God knows where does he get such ideas from. And although I was nodding in accord, I was more interesting in my Paranthas.
Just then came to my relief an evergreen song. It was "Mere angne mein" from Laawaris (I hope it doesnt need an introduction. Does it ?? :O)
Now there's something about this song that I just can't resist. Either Its the charismatic aura with which Amitabh actually performed, or just the entire fun He seemed to be having while singing it, I always get carried away and find myself imitating BIG B's baritone.
As my dear roomie Tarun was going on and on about How He would like to be known as a Brand and gain unprecedented goodwill all over the country, I was relishing my recollection of the Video of the song, where BIG B entertains his guests to the hilt.
A very disturbing yet intriguing thought hit me. I was so self-indulged in my own world, that I hardly paid heed to what Tarun was blabbering. Give me a thought about My fav. Movies, and a damn to the rest of the world then. I would like to have my peace of mind by watching BIG B doing a drag, rather than planning out financial reports for some machievellan organisations.
Sometimes i wonder If I am exaggerating about my passion for Movies. There must be millions of them like me, I tend to think time & again. And I know that can also be interpreted as sheer laziness to do better but more pain-staking things in life. But whatever it is, I wil anyday (only god knows if bravely or foolishly) choose to be with Movies rather than Masterminds. Thats all i need. Hope I get a chance to do so, without making my close ones conclude that I am just Good-for-nothing. :)
Amen!
