Happy New Year!

So finally The Year has ended and We are in 2009. Every year brings a lot of changes in your life, And this one was certainly no exception. Infact, 2008 would top the list if the amount of tranformation is concerned. Hehe.

Anyways, Talks of the past will be reserved for my diary or any other Post on my blog. Lets talk about the probable things this year has to offer. ;)

First of all, I wonder where Life's gonna take me as far as My Studies are concerned. By God's grace, There are so many good avenues and I am expected and wished to make the most of it. Seriously.
But before that, I gotta pass all examinations of my final graduation year. And if by any chance I fail in even one of them, BOOM! Its all wasted. All that good luck will go in vain. And I definitely don't want that to happen. Quite obviously.

Secondly, Like Two of my FF co-leagues say I have become too negatively big for my shoes. Divs sir has been saying that for a long time now. So, I hope I become more generous to hindi films, without compromising on my self-indulgence.
That reminds me, I guess this has something to do with the change that has occured in me as a person. I have, for some better untold reasons, become lesser emotional (almost to the extent of being not emotional at all) I've had some experiences which has forced me to draw a line somewhere. I've closed myself, and yet I haven't become totally reclusive.
It has been unexpected, but now Its a part of my being.

Then, I've been so madly in love with this phenomenon called Hindi Films. Last six months, I was in mess where I could neither study nor watch so many films despite adding them to my collection.

But I hope to change the things this year. Its all about Time Management, and I just dont get it. Even if I dont always do meaningful and significant things, Its fine with me. I just want not to while away my time. I will be content even if its reading a novel or preparing my mad movie lists. But I wanna keep doing something or the other. Fingers crossed.. ;)

Hmm.. what else... I guess thats it. Last year was interesting; I expect this year to be as well. Amen. :)

Aaj ki Taaza Khabar

A few days ago, One of my friends said, "I have enrolled for PDP already."
I was like dumb-struck. Whats that, i thought to myself, and pointed the same to my friend.
She was eqaully shocked, and replied after a pregnant pause, 'Personality Development Programme..!!'
And within 3 days, I find myself enrolling for the same. PDP. Lols. :))

Now I must tell you, This is just the right thing I could do at this stage. GD/PI sessions wont be easy unless I begin preparing for them much in advance. Hope to live upto the hard work it requires... :)

Now this is not the only major event of the day that was Dec 16, 2008!!
While Brushing in the morning, (err.. or may be, afternoon :-s ) The remains of One of my teeth came out. I was not surprised, It had happened to me once before... :P
The Fruit & Nuts and The Chocolate chip biscuits are doing their job finally. I just hope I dont have to use a teeth set soon. God, its Scary! :O

Now Coming to the 3rd and quite an intriguing event. As I came out from My Coaching Institute, I saw an outlet of Cafe Coffee Day on the opposite side of the road.
Now there's something with the CCDs that frighten me beyond beliefs. I've dared to visit Pizza Hut, I now find it quite okay to sit between those Coolly dressed Youngsters at Mcdonalds. But wonder whats with CCD that I never dare to step its threshold. I feel this sense of awe when I look at the people inside. They belong to the Elite group. THE ELITE group. And They look every bit of it... :)
I am not from as high a strata, so there's this strange kind of fear. Fear of being tackily dressed, Fear of talking in Hindi to The Guy at the counter, Fear of being embarrased for not knowing ANY item on the Menu. :)
As I was walking besides it, I could see through the glass ceiling. I could see all those pretty faces holding the stylishly crafted Mugs, sipping Coffee as if all the Coffee beans in the world would be destroyed by next morning. I felt a sense of looking upto (I was literally looking upto them, as they were on a platform a bit higher :)) ) them.
One day, I wish to be as Self-dependent and Rich that I can confidently step into any outlet of CCD and order for the costliest drink on the other side of the counter. :)

I am not being too ambitious or anything. Just hope that One day, I find myself in that ELITE group, that the Glass ceiling breaks someday. ;)

Clean Bowled!

Life is full of Ironies. Tarun, one of my room-mates has Computer ever since I am sharing room with him (and thats 4 months, haan ??)
But its only now that I have discovered this game on his System, and I am addicted like hell! Its sheer wrong timing, but I cant control myself. Gawd! :((

However, I found this very apt connection in the way I approach Cricket (this game I mentioned :P) and the way I face Life. When I was playing yesternite, I realised the level of difficulty was Low. And soon, I was mostly going for Boundaries and Sixes. I hardly tried to take singles or doubles. This is the reason why I lost my wickets most of times - trying to attack when I was meant to defend. I myself was wondering about How impatient I actually am.

There's this uncanny similarity here. In my life too, I cant wait for good things to come. I am as restive. And yea, I guess in my life too, The level of difficulty is very low. (At the Cost of sounding Highly Immodest, I think I am quite Intelligent that makes it low for me)
But still, I make the least of it, thanks to my lack of ability to work hard and restlessness. :((

Anyways, enough of Self-praising and Self-bashing. Time for some breaking news about my life. ;)

I just realised I have become sort of an outcast. :)) For my outrageously 'Negative' conduct at my Second home FF. May be Thats not wrong either. Other members comment because they want to satisfy their hunger for expression of thoughts, not to have contradictions (that too, Derogatory, may be :O )
But by contradicting them, I too am expressing my thoughts only, na ?? As long as I am not doing it at Gun-point, I really dont know what is wrong there :O

One of my friends said that I was wrong in doing that with my friends too. I really am amazed to see someone feel that the contradiction of opinion and its expression should be avoided if the people involved are friends. We became Friends because of the same place, na ?? Because of the same topic, same point of interest ..!!
Then Why shut our mouths if we see ourselves disagreeing with our friends ??

I did whatever I did, thinking Our Debates on movies will be kept aside from our friendship. Alas, that was not the case.

Anyways, it doesnt matter now anyways. I've left that place now. I realised thats the only way for me to not distract the positive film-lovers and stay in my ivory towers, and let them stay in theirs.

Anyways, Thats all from Me for now. Hope You guys enjoyed reading. Catch ya sometime later. Chao!

Revisiting Mistakes....

Its been 2 weeks, and See my guts, I am not ashamed a bit to write that I hardly studied all these days. Shamelessness ka example no. 2 - My semester exams are from next friday. And to think that I hope to get in a really nice college for my PG. Lols. :D

And actually, This is not what makes me all this frustrated. The fact that The well-reputed bug of 'Tension' or 'Anxiety' doesnt seem to find me. I am as relaxed as I was on the eve of Diwali. I am treating Life as a never-ending Vacation, and the scariest part is - ITS NOT!!

And then There are awards coming up at FILMI FREAK - Year has ended, So many new threads have to be made, So much to be done, and I will have my exams for those exact 2 weeks. :((

I wont curse Life like before as It has given me too good times in the recent past to even think of a word of grudging. I dont know why I am not studying at all. Firstly, I dont feel like holding books, and The fact that I follow my heart mostly makes this case a sheer impossible one. Despite realising the need for a change, I havent been able to go for it.

Dec 19 is the date when My BBA Exams start, On 21 I have SNAP Test and as soon as My exams end, I gotta join some GD/PI classes to prepare for the selection rounds of all those so-called 'Prestigious' Institutes for my further studies. I would otherwise give a damn to them, but kya karen, My life somewhat depends on them unfortunately. :O

Another unfortunate incident happened an hour ago. I was angry with a friend of mine, although over a small issue. When My room-mates came to me and warned me for my careless attitude towards exam, I shooed them away saying I know where I stand and I dont need any advice. Occasions like these are when I really wish my temper was a li'l less short. :((

None the less, Being the ridiculously relaxed guy that I am, I dare to hope against hopes, yet again, that I manage to open my books and actually get some of its content make its way to my brain.

Amen!

A random thought...

Felt really weak to face the reality for once. Really ashamed about the state of my general awareness. But for that one moment a little while ago, I Didnt wanna face or have the courage to face the sad reality about my Potential. Sorry (I know u r reading this)

Life has not yet come back to track, Guys! Gotta pull up my socks. Hope to do it soon. Chao!

Back! Yet again.... Lols

So finally I am back to where I belong!
Since last 8 days, I am reading books, watching movies galore, eating my fav. goodies whenever i want, fooling around my small rented flat etc etc. In short, basking in the success of what initially seemed like an inevitable Qayamat.

Honestly, I just appeared in CAT, hoping I am not forced to be ashamed later. But I guess this are times when all your friends' best of luck SMSes truly work and God, seeing so many wishes for you, decides to come down and lend his support all by himself.

The whole post-CAT period has been simply unbelievable. After initial uncertainty about my Scores, The signs are roaringly positive. As each day passed, I realised I wasnt so pathetic afterall.

By now, I am pretty sure I havent done bad in CAT. and what the heck, some of the websites even claim I have some very good chances at some of the better colleges in the country after the IIMs. And to think that I hadnt studied for a month before CAT. Gosh!

Mummy still good-humouredly scolds me and tells me that if I did so nicely without studying much, How well I could have done If I'd studied more. But I know this isnt true. I know It my entirely my destiny. I know I had all my luck with me for those 2.5 hours, and that came because for some reason, God was indeed very happy with me. :)

I just hope he is happy with me for the next few months atleast, because this is gonna be a make-or-break period. I will make sure I dont hurt any soul on this planet, that can make him detach from me... hehe :D

Actually, This may not be such a big thing for many as I am making it out to be. 86 %ile. Ask some of those who aim for FMS or XLRI and they will spit on my score. But I am really content, more so considering My pathetic preparation and How well I was (or actually, wasnt!) prepared for this.

At the same time, I have also realised Life can be much more wonderful, provided I get on my toes soon and prepare myself completely for the times ahead. Otherwise, Life is not gonna be easy.

Life has been pretty nice to me in last 10 days. Though I had a few low moments too, for e.g. I had this big issue with a friend over a really silly matter (difference of opinion on a film of all things... lols). Just hope Things dont stay as bitter as they are presently.

Also, I spent almost as much money in last 10 as I do in the entire month. This is really very embarrasing, esp. when I will need a lot of money in the near future... :((
And then there is this nerve-wrecking unpredictability of the results. And I am not able to handle it, really.

However, There's lot more to come. Much more hard work, much more anxiety and hopefully, Lot more Contentment. :)

So after a long self-imposed holiday, I am back to Life! Hope to stay as lively here too. Cheers! ;)

Ek aakhri Koshish....

What an irony! I come back to my Blog, but only to mention that I will be off for a few more days.... Uff !!

Before Diwali, I was waiting for Life to show some ray of hope, some light. And after Diwali, I am amazed by the amount of Light I've been brought to see. Lols.

Diwali vacation was an absolute treat. I had no other thought and spent all my time with my family. And somehow, I really enjoyed thinking about this fact that I had all the time only for my Mummy and Naani.

Well, Those who know me well know that My idea of enjoying starts and ends with Movies. So What i Did this Diwali was to show all the good recent films which Mummy and Naani hadn't seen. And that included Rock On, A Wednesday, Mumbai Meri Jaan, Bachna Ae Haseeno and as a bonus feature NO SMOKING! :D :))

And then, all I had to do was trigger off a discussion, counterpointing their opinion. And off we were on a never ending debate, that would be ever-accompanied with loud voices and direct attacks. Where do you guys think I got my stubbornity and argumentative skills from ?? :P

And actually, It wasnt just this. I was really 1enjoying and feeling very relieved, very relaxed. It was such a relief from all the heck I was suffering over here. And when D-Day came of leaving back to Indore, I wasnt interested. I didnt wanna leave. I had an inkling I'd again be surrounded with same tensions and all, which I didnt want to.

No wonder I fell ill the very day I came back. Though I did have slight fever when I was leaving, I had no idea it'd would reach heights. I went on to have viral that lasted around a week. There was a time (unfortunately around my Birthday) that I was so weak that I wasnt even able to walk on my own propoerly. It was really sad to see myself in such a state. But Also good to see myself back in form, to my normal self! :)

CAT is just 3 days away, and I practically studied nothing. Its entirely a hopeless case now, but I dont wanna come out of that Hall totally down, depressed discouraged etc. So Here's giving a final shot at what is gonna be the ULTIMATE DAY in the lives of so many Indians.

There's something that gives me a feeling all's not gonna be that bad. Dunno, but kuch positive vibes aa rahi hain. :) And I hope it comes out true.... ;)

So I will give a final try, and my best. For these 3 days atleast. So will be off till the 16th of Nov. And When i come back, I hope You get to read a positive note.... ;)

Have so much to write, and time is so less. Hope to make up for all this when i come back. Chao....

Yaaron.. Main to Chalaaaaa

So finally I am on my way to home. Honestly, I have never been so-damn excited for a vacation. But I guess this time, these holidays for me decided to take themselves a bit too literally.

I just need a goddamit break. Break from everything that has got me all scared and tense since last 10 days. A break from my frustration routine of how I while away my days so-not-constructively. a break from days like the last 3 ones when I am feeling ill and dont even wanna be better. In short, A break from this whole disapproving ambience.

Same bloody calls. Same bloody Questions. Same bloody desire to tear your hair apart in sheer frustration. Why is it so tough for some to understand that Friends should be let themselves for once. Ahh leave it!

I just need a break from all these. I wonder if its really that tough for the one up there, or he's just plain adamant to punish me at once for all the wrong deeds I have ever done in my life.

Diwali is the festival of lights. Somehow, I have an inkling this Diwali will certainly lighten up my life, as its actually supposed to. And mind you, I am not talking about those noisy fire-crackers!

Yesternite, I had this great G.D. session with my room-mates over the famous battle of Money and Principles. In short, all of us got to thrash each other openly in good humtour (with a tinge of sarcasm though) and I must say, I had a Bash. Somehow, My fever also cooled down by the time I went to bed. Thank u, Rahul and Tarun. I must say You could have opted for Medical too. :P

Life has not changed much since the last time I visited this page. I felt so many times in these 5 days like just writing whatever i want to. But the Super-Tornado struck me at the right time, And It made me come to a state where I just wanted to be free of any thoughts, let alone try to jot down my thoughts on this alter-ego url address, namely split-persona.blogspot.com.

CAT is coming nearer and nearer, and I hardly seem interested in studying. Though i never aimed for it either, But I guess it'd have been much more pleasant if I was decently prepared till Nov 16 too. Lets hope I encounter the desired status on Dec 21 atleast.

However, FILMI FREAK has sincerely helped me remain attached to my crazy Movie thoughts. Every day, I read some zany comments and meet some outrageous people with as-different-as-i-can-get-from-u views. And it only strengthens my belief that Different People have Different Perceptions. I guess I just as well may end up updating my other blog too. Do check it out my later tonite.

I guess I have blabbered enough for now. By the way, This was the first time I wrote a post on an impromptu basis, and didnt i Enjoy it ?? :D

Chao!

Thodi si padhai, dher saara time waste. I didnt find a reason to blog for last 6 days, as my life strictly moved in sync with those two phrases all these while.

Life cant be just spent by thinking what should be done and what not to be done. One has to get up from his bed, go away from the Laptop and Just do it!
But then, I also realised its no use going yawk yawk at this place about all my misgivings, esp. in case if they are the same every day. :)
So I hope to have something really noteworthy in my life in the coming few days which I will be glad writing about. Lets hope atleast the feel-good ambience of Diwali does its job. :)

Till then, all of you take care and try to waste as less time of your life as possible. :)

Chao!

Just a random one ;)

Feeling really crappy as I wasted yet another day.. just like that. These sundays really dont wanna be liked and make sure I hate them like anything. Grrr....
Life is anyways full of things which I'd love to do, but fail to do time n again. So Here's a random list of things I wanna do right now.


1. Eat a lot of chocolate. Feeling damn hungry you know, as I mostly do at night... lols
2. Call all my school mates, and tell them that I do miss them at times. :)
3. Watch a solid movie, and enjoy it with the best of my self-indulgence... ;)
4. Forget all the worldly tension about the nearing CAT exam which may just as well clash with my semester exam dates! Gawd...

And ya, I also wanna kill all the ants in the world, thanks to almost half of them who have invaded my study table and right now are playing all over my Laptop Key-board! (God knows what ever attaracted them to a place like this!)


But since My college is re-opening tomorrow after a vacation of 6 loooooooong days, I wonder if I will really dare to do any of these, even if I get a chance. Dont wanna bunk my College anymore ; not for the next 2 weeks atleast.. till Diwali. :D

Chao!