I feel a grenade-sized lump in my throat as my room-mate Rahul puzzles himself even more in those self-complicated Questions from sheets provided by PT Education for his CAT prep. The very thought of sitting in the Competitive exams with the kind of preparation I have right now scares the shit out of me. I hardly have 2-3 months anyways.
"This is damn tough job, buddy... and aise nahi chalega" - the very-current thought in my mind as I type this.

All day long, I just struggled with those looooong mind-numbing RC passages, trying hard to find any sense in them. By the end of it, I seemed to have lost whatever sense of reasoning I ever had.

Here's an excerpt from the thrashing I got a while ago from - MYSELF!

"This all can't be that tough, can it ? Come on yaar! When thousands of other worthless jerks can do it, Why can't you ??
Whats wrong with you anyways ? You were never such a dumb asshole either! Come on yaar, Whatever happened to all those claims for being capable of doing all this.... JUST LIKE THAT. I know You are not this bad, as Your performance till now make you out to be... But Dont expect to carry it off with Farhan Akhtar crooning loud in your ears at the top of his voice. You gotta put in some serious efforts, maan!
Can't you just leave all these so-called worldly pleasures aside for the already-limited time span you dig yourself into those sheets ?? Your life sorta depends on it, damn it! Why don't u get this bloody fact into your brain ??"

Ya right! Why don't I get this ?? What ever could be wrong with me ?? I while my days away, half studying and half-singing along with my I-pod. And before I can realise, its dinner time! Even after my 2nd meal of the day, I choose to come online and waste my time some more.

Okay, I know, One gotta spare time for friends too. After all, You too need them, much more than probably they need you. But for that, You HAVE TO spend the rest of the day with those goddammit boring Questions to deserve to have some fun at the end of the day.
Days pass like a comet, and I just brood about the scary repercussions all this laziness and such a scarily irresponsible stand can have in the coming days (that may just not as well have an end to them)

Whats so impossible about "GIVING YOUR BEST", that I am just not able to do that ?? What does that mean at first place ?? Lemme give a shot....
Ummm.... Doing as much as You can ? To the best of your ability ??
Ya I guess thats what it means.

What is it with GIVING YOUR BEST, that I am just not able to come to it ?? Why do i distract myself on my own, and then regret it later ??

Throughout my life, I did what I wanted to.
The times havent changed now either, but I aint even doing what I should do, that will help me do What i eventually want to.

Okay, I know, and I re-realised just now, that this is going nowhere and I am resorting to write all crap yet again. So I shall sign out now, hoping for the nth occasion that I soon realise how crucial this studies part in this otherwise 'I-can-be-beautiful-too' life REALLY is.

Amen.